Have you ever tried something knowing that the outcome probably wasn’t going to be good? Welp, for me that’s what it was like trying my hand at online dating. Grab your popcorn, get ready for the drama!
It was a year since a very bad breakup and two years since I suffered a miscarriage due to uterine rupture (we’ll discuss that at a later date). I wasn’t ready to go full throttle, so a friend suggested that I try dating sites.
To swipe right or to swipe left, that is the question. My first try at online dating was Tinder. Tinder is an app that allows users to use pictures from their Facebook page and tweak their dating bios to their liking. The user will swipe right (like) or swipe left (dislike) on other users profiles. If both of you swiped right, you’ll get a little notification saying, “It’s a Match”.
Initially I was excited at the idea of writing my bio and hopeful that I would find a great guy to chat it up with. Boy was I naive as hell! Most of the talks involved sex. After many tries, I did meet a great guy and we eventually met in person. Fast forward a year later and after his many talks about the perfect woman for his imperfect ass, his lofty affiliations, his sexual romps and a myriad of of other braggadocious fooleries, a lack of reciprocity and plenty of ignored calls and texts, I realized we were better suited as associates.
Plenty of Fish
Next up is the infamous, Plenty of Fish aka POF aka Plenty of Hoes aka Hoe’s Playground aka For “Hookups” Only. My naivete was strong when I decided to use this site. I had no idea of the stigma surrounding POF. The functionality of this site is pretty basic. The user creates a profile and a group of matches will be generated based on the user’s preferences. The user can then search through profiles and send or receive messages.
Again, I had fun creating my bio and searching through the profiles. I had no idea of what was to come. One of the first red alerts was that I ran across the profile of the same guy I met on Tinder. He was a serial online dater and it seemed as if I was following suit.
The first guy I connected with invited me to a local bar. He was tall dark and handsome; but, as soon as he opened his mouth I regretted my decision to meet him. He was reminiscent of a pimp named Slickback…
Immediately he started talking about how he drove his older car to meet me; but, he has a Mercedes Benz. I made it clear on my profile that I don’t give a damn about who you know or your material possessions. I just want to know your intellectual aptitude or “where yo’ mind at” is how I put like to put it. During our “date”, his phone wouldn’t stop ringing and he had the audacity to answer it every time. Then there was his five or more kids by several baby mommas, his constant need to talk about his 10 year old Mercedes Benz and oh, his pseudo rap career. His social media pages were riddled with drama. It was just a train wreck waiting to happen and in typical ENFP fashion I floated away from that situation like a butterfly.
The next guy made me laugh, so I agreed to meet him at a favorite resturant. Upon meeting, he appeared to be stuck in the early 90’s New Jack Swing era. Something like…
That’s not the issue though. He was groping and trying to kiss me upon first meeting. I just wasn’t feeling this guy’s vibes, so I deleted his number and moved on. Deleting him wasn’t enough. He kept calling and texting so much that I had to block his number. Then he found me on social sites so I blocked him from those sites as well. Can we say weirdo and borderline stalker? I was immediately turned off by online dating so I deleted all of my profiles and I haven’t looked back since!
What I Learned
I took a chance and I failed, no wait, succeeded in understanding more about myself and what I desire in in life. I prefer the old-fashioned way of meeting prospects and that’s what I’ll stick with. Hey, YOLO — right?
Have you ever tried dating sites? Tell me about your experience by dropping a comment below. Peace y’all and don’t forget to click that subscribe button! ✌🏾